Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A Total Bear-strosity


So yesterday I went to Build-a-Bear with Avery, my sister-in-law Beth, and her five year old, Sarah. My niece picked a lovely bunny with a bride dress and named her Ellie. Now for my daugher...

Avery insisted that she only wanted the bright pink bear with white hearts all over its fur (of course it was the one animal that I NEVER would have picked because it looked plain crazy). Then she insisted on choosing the Ariel the mermaid outfit, which completely clashed with the bear in every way....bright red wig (WHO PUTS WIGS ON TEDDY BEARS?!), sparkly green fins, and a purple bikini top. This is when I started to sweat. For those of you that know me, you know that I am the type of girl that REALLY LIKES TO MATCH. I am very sensitive to aesthetics, so when I saw the "bear-strosity" that was occuring before my eyes, I was very nervous. I did what any mom would do....I showed Avery every other cute bear outfit in the store that wouldn't clash with the bear. Every time I suggested an outfit, Avery's protests grew louder and more shrill until finally, quite frankly, I threw in the towel. Fine...make a freaky bear that will give you nightmares...see if I care. Then we got into the argument about why Mommy wouldn't buy the crazy bear $5 underwear. Luckily, I won that battle. Next, Avery had to name her bear. I could feel the sweat beads coming back..."How about Ariel?" I suggested calmly. "NO. I GET TO NAME MY BEAR," Avery insisted. She had to type the letters and of course she didn't care one bit that the name she created is not even a name (unless maybe you live in Africa). She named the bear Lyeekm. When we got to the counter to pay for this agony, the lady had a stack of bear birth certificates already printed out. She said, "Is your bear named Precious?" No, lady. My kid is the freak who named her bear Lyeekm. In the car on the way home, Avery said to Sarah, "Why don't the mommies ever let us buy our bears underwear." I cut in and said, "Lyeekm is a mermaid. Mermaids don't wear underwear." Avery couldn't believe this. "Where do they pee and poop out of?" she asked. "Their fins," I replied. Then Sarah summed up the entire experience with this phrase...

"YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME."

So welcome to the world, Lyeekm. I'm sure I'll see you in my nightmares.

2 comments:

SarahSLP said...

omg...i almost peed my pants reading this!!!

babybain said...

So why don't you by Bears underwear?