Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Secret is Out...

For a few months now, I have been keeping a big secret from my mom. This is not an easy task. The woman has interrogated me almost daily about what the secret could possibly be. The secret is that I am flying to visit her in Arizona this Thursday in honor of her birthday! My mom's boyfriend (if you can call men in their fifties "boyfriends") called me out of the blue a few months ago and asked if he could buy me a plane ticket to come visit my mom as a surprise. Here is a tip for all you readers:

When someone offers to buy you a plane ticket, NEVER SAY NO!

So, of course, I agreed to keep the secret, knowing that my mom would turn into a basket case, which inevitably happened as predicted. She claims to love surprises, yet they seem to drive her nuts.

Why did Bruce call you?
Why are you and Bruce texting each other?
What is he needing your help with?
Why do you and Bruce have a secret?

People, the questions just didn't end. I remained strong. Some of the hints I gave her included:

1. He wants to buy you your own llama. (This is funny because the man truly already has his own alpaca and my mom is NOT the type of lady who wants her own llama.)
2. He wants to know if Matt wears boxers or briefs. (Another ridiculous fib that truly horrified her and led her to say, "You have to be kidding. Why would he ask you that?")
3. He said that he wants me to call him Daddy. (This was the most outrageous of fibs that I told her. I knew it would truly horrify her, so it was worth the reaction of "What?! You can't be serious? Why would he say that?!)

The thing about my mom is that she is sometimes a little tiny bit gullible. She wants to believe that you are kidding her, but she always has that tiny seed of doubt....like maybe you are telling the truth. I find this hilarious and try to take advantage of this frequently. Daughters are mean like that.

Thank goodness she learned the secret yesterday on her birthday. She was so happy she cried. I felt all warm and fuzzy, and I didn't even do anything to make it happen, other than agreeing to go!

Bruce-Bruce (as we call him) bumped my ticket to first class last week. FIRST CLASS. I have never ever flown first class. I am totally looking forward to feeling really cool, unlike my normal feeling of being very nerdy.

I fly to Arizona about once a year (my mom always pays for my ticket because I just don't have extra money floating around to buy plane tickets). Do you want to know the best part of the Phoenix airport, if you are an Indiana girl in the dead of winter?

PALM TREES.
GORGEOUS PALM TREES.

When you get off the plane and drive away from the airport, you drive along a palm tree lined street.

When you live in Indiana and don't get out much, you don't drive down palm tree lined streets too often. You also don't drive down palm tree lined streets after flying first class very often....okay, or EVER. Below is a picture of the Phoenix airport.

I can't wait to blog about our adventures from Thursday to Monday. We are going to Sedona, which despite my many trips to Arizona, I have never been to Sedona. I promise to take lots of pictures and tell lots of stories because you KNOW there will be some stories. I always make a fool of myself in airports.

Like the time I was in the ladies room in a stall squatting over the sure to be germ infested toilet. The door swung open. All of the travelers in the restroom got to see my smiling face squatting over the toilet.

That was special.

Anyway, I will fill you in about my mishaps/adventures. If I'm real lucky and if I really behave myself on the trip, I may get to meet an alpaca.

Hoosier girls can dream.

4 comments:

Mom said...

I am always suspicious of my children...especially you. LOL Daughters keep us on our toes with challenges. I am sooo excited about your SURPRISE visit.

Beth Terry Merchant said...

Be sure to deodorize your feet. Wouldn't want a repeat of the trip home form Vegas with Matthew...

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure what was harder, keeping the secret, or all the arrangments you had to make behind the scenes so that you could visit. I realize what I was putting you (and half of Indiana) through. I'm sure the trip will be worth it.

Bruce

Lindsay said...

Hahaha! I didn't want you to know all my complicated childcare issues. I just wanted you to think I could hop on a jet any old time like a rock star.