The Smell of Fear

This morning I woke up dreading the inevitable. I had to go to the grocery store, and I would have to bring my children. I stalled for several hours. I tried to hatch a plan. I needed a plan that would lead us to success.....a plan that would not end with me sweating and whispering threats through gritted teeth in the checkout lane. My plan for today can be summed up in one word. Bribery. I am not above bribery. Since I am the type of mom who likes to keep her cool in public and since I have the type of daughters who make that virtually impossible, I had to do something. So I told the girls that if they were good at the store, I would let them get Easter candy.

So we arrived at the store. I convinced them both to sit in the ridiculous car cart that is both cumbersome and germ infested. I swear.....they could smell my fear. I have a hard time being taken seriously by my children (or anybody for that matter). However, the store trip was marvelous. They stayed in the cart and behaved, since they knew Easter candy was on the line, which apparently is much more important than the love and adoration of your mother. We got through checkout without a hitch. I had a peaceful trip in the store. They got Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs in return (which truly are heaven on Earth, if you didn't know). I smiled at the cashier and let out a sign of relief.

THEN I REALIZED THAT MY FLY WAS DOWN AND HAD BEEN THE ENTIRE TIME!!!!

Once again-

Daughters: 2 points Me: 0 points

So despite the bribery, I still managed to be humiliated. You just can't win.