Wednesday, April 28, 2010

9 Years Ago Today...

I was getting married! The last nine years have absolutely flown by. I remember my wedding day like it was yesterday! I was a young bride by today's standards. I got married at the age of 22. We were married before any of our close friends, and I remember some people's disbelief and doubt that 22 year olds should be getting married. I laughed at it then, and I laugh at it now. At 22 I hadn't completely come into my own yet, but I knew myself. Today at 31 I don't think I have finished my journey of "coming into my own." One thing was true at 22 though.....I KNEW that I was supposed to be getting married to my husband. I was talking to a close friend just last week about the journey of marrying someone that you have had to grow up with. I started dating my husband when I was 17. We are definitely not the same people that we were at 17! But the one thing that has stayed the same is that inner core of ourselves that attracted us to each other in the first place.
Attraction is a funny thing after all. I remember the day I felt those "sparks." The story is quite funny, but it is proof that you never know when or where you can meet your soul mate. I don't believe that there is just one soul mate in the world for each person. I do believe that you are very very lucky if you can find at least one soul mate. I was just a teenager working at the grocery store in our town. I was a cashier....boy was that fun. My husband at the time was a bagger/sacker (whatever you call it in your neck of the woods). Let me describe us at that time.....it paints an even better picture. I was a goody-goody, class President who followed all the rules and lived for making straight A's. I had a lot of friends who were in the "popular" crowd, but I also had friends from other groups too. I dressed with the trends and wouldn't dare do something unordinary to my appearance. I had that mid-90s love of tanning beds....YUCK. My husband on the other hand......he had hair down to his shoulders. He was quiet and in the band. He did crazy things with his "weird" friends. I did not know him, except for at work. The very day that I KNEW with all my being that he would "get me" is the day I noticed something about him. Something others may not have noticed or even thought twice about. I was ringing up a customer. I turned around to see him bagging and noticed that he was tossing canned goods in the air and twirling them into the bag. It was funny to me at the time because he is very quiet and never really made eye contact.....but that was it. That small piece of flair that he exhibited ignited those sparks! It showed me that underneath his appearance there was something else.....something with pizazz and flair! Hahaha! Then I just progressively developed a secret crush on him. The crush nagged at my mind until I finally confessed to my two best friends at the time. They thought it was a hilarious match-up and they could totally see it because they knew I was an oddball and so was he! Eventually, he heard about all this and he was probably mortified. He eventually got up the nerve and asked me on a date. Our first date we went to the movie "Twelve Monkeys" which I totally haven't watched since. We have never ever been apart since that first date in January of 1996!!! No break-ups....or breaks. On our early dates he would drive his pick-up truck erratically on ice and scare the crap out of me, but I loved it. It was that inner piece of flair that I noticed in the first place! We did appear to be an odd couple to most, but on the inside we had so much in common. We both have quirky personalities that only each other truly get. You better believe we know each other better than even our own family members. It makes me laugh that some people think they know the real him or the real me, but they are SO off most of the time!

Fast forward nine years from our wedding day to now. It hasn't been all roses, so please don't think I would ever suggest that. Marriage is very hard work. Humility and empathy are two things that help when things get tough. We have had our fair share of ups and downs. We have grown up together. We are high school sweethearts who worked out. Whenever my husband does something odd, I still have that butterfly feeling like when I first got a crush on him. It is always the oddness that gets me the most. Hahaha. When I say odd, I don't mean anything bad. I mean like the recent post where he was taking to a fox on the side of the road in a British accent or how he recently snuck a pink flamingo into my brother's lawn then ran to the car to speed away. That kind of odd really appeals to me. We both have some serious weaknesses. I am not an easy person to live with and neither is he. We accept each other. We have a commitment to loving each other. We respect each other. We laugh at each other every day.
Age doesn't matter when it comes to marriage (unless your names are Avery or Piper). What matters is whether or not you know yourself well enough to take the plunge. I never missed out on anything, and I know my husband would say the same thing. The perfect spouse is not one that tries to change you, but one who helps you find your true self and supports you for who you really are. Some days I think about my husband's 17 year old self with the ponytail who liked spinning out on the ice, stealing road signs, etc and it makes me smile. He is still that guy, even though he has the responsible haircut and drives safely with his wife and daughters in the car. I am still a rule follower. We balance each other out. I have no idea who we would be without each other. I don't want to know. I love him with all my heart and thank my lucky stars every single day.

5 comments:

Beth Terry Merchant said...

It's so funny to me to read about how different you thought you two were in high school because I think you were and still are very alike. Maybe it's because I'm the big sister. I don't know, but I love you both and you are such a perfect match it's not even funny! I'm glad you both are so good to me!

Lindsay said...

Do you mean different than each other or different than we were back in high school? I'm confused!

Stewart Imagery said...

What a sweet post! You two are like peas and carrots! Have a fantastic anniversary!!!

Beth Terry Merchant said...

I don't think you were that different than each other in high school. On the outsides maybe, but on the inside you were very much alike and you still are. You two were good examples of "don't judge a book by it's cover", heck, what do I know! It's was meant to be a good thing!

Lindsay said...

You sure are right about that Beth! That quote totally describes both of us to a T! Hahaha.