Friday Funnies

There is so much humor in my life. Just when I think I am in a funk, something happens that is funny. I am known for always having funny stories. Even though I do not intend to make this a "Humor Blog" sometimes that is just what happens.

Friday Funny #1: My husband and I have a trunk full of Easter Bunny basket goodies. We decided that the Easter Bunny was going to bring Avery a big girl bike. Yes, I realize that is extravagant for the Easter Bunny, but he got a good tax refund this year. So today I took the girls on an emergency errand (okay....it was just Starbucks, but it WAS AN EMERGENCY). My mom (who is extremely hard to reach usually) called me from the Phoenix airport to chat. I was pulling into my neighborhood and didn't want to get out of the car and end our conversation. So I parked the car in the driveway and talked with the girls still in their carseats.....or so I thought. Avery had unbuckled herself and climbed into the third row of seats in my Explorer.....quite stealthily I might add because I did not hear her as I was gabbing with my mom. Next thing I know, I see Avery in the very back looking in the trunk......WHERE ALL THE EASTER LOOT IS BEING STORED. "Avery, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled as I totally hung up on my mom.

"I'm looking at this cool bike in the trunk."

There goes that Easter Bunny surprise. I sure wish that Easter Bunny would find a new place to store all his stuff. I got her out of the car before she saw anything else. But as you can imagine, this started a whole slew of questions.

"Mom, why is there a bike in the trunk?"
"Mom, can we take that bike out of the box?"
"Mom, can I see that bike....unless you are saving it for a surprise?"
"Mom, is that for me or did you buy that for another girl?"

And it goes on and on. My little drama queen finally yelled at me and said, "I can't believe you bought a bike for another girl!" Then she stomped up the stairs and pouted in her room, which led me to yell out of spite, "FINE. IT'S FOR YOU. SURPRISE." Can you imagine when she is sixteen?

Friday Funny #2: Now this is the best for last. I am not embarrassed to tell you, oh Internet, the weird things that happen to me. Last night, Avery informed me of something that had been just weighing on her little mind. This is an exact quote....she said, "Mom, did you know that you have unusually large butt cheeks?"

OMG.....Why me?!?

For a minute I thought that I was offended and hurt. I wanted to teach her that she can't go around saying stuff like that. But seriously, she is kind of right. So I told her, "Hmmm, yes you are probably right. How strange!" Then she giggled and moved on. Nothing like marveling at the strangeness of your butt with your kids.

So today I called my mom to vent and tell her that Avery said I had unusually large butt cheeks. I was hoping for some vindication. I was hoping that my mom would side with me. I like to tattle on my kids to my mom. I'm not sure why. So here is her response:

"Yes, in some cultures that is a sign of wealth and great beauty."

I should have known that my mom would have some kind of response like this. After all, she is the woman who stood next to me while giving birth to Avery saying, "Did you know that pioneers just squatted in the fields and popped their babies right out?"

Always a history lesson in times of weakness.

Anyway, I am sharing these stories with you, so you know that even though I get down in the dumps and the "mean reds" there is always humor surrounding me. This humor cushions the rough times, just like my butt.

This concludes the very first and very last blog post regarding my butt. Thank you very much.