Thursday, February 3, 2011

Fresh Air

Today I woke up to the third consecutive day being trapped in my house due to an ice storm that hit the Midwest with a vengeance. As I was laying in bed thinking of what fun I would cook up in our house today, I thought about my recent trip to an Oxygen Bar. I know that many of my Indiana friends have probably not been to an Oxygen Bar, so this is worth describing. Ocassionally you can find these bars in airports and malls, but not really where I live. While walking at the Venetian in Vegas with three adults in their fifties (Aunt Lori is 48, but I rounded up), I could BARELY keep up with them! I made jokes that I was on a trip with some old fogeys, but I was the one who was the fogey! On less than four hours of sleep and after a very long flight, I immediately had to shop with my mom (who is a marathon shopper). We were just window shopping at the Venetian, but I could barely walk.

We saw this Oxygen Bar and I said we should try it (partly out of the desire to sit down and partly out of curiosity). For $22 you can breathe pure oxygen for about thirty minutes. For $5 extra (which I HIGHLY RECOMMEND), they will throw in a back massage, neck massage, and scalp massage. I am pretty sure these oxygen treatments are supposed to energize you. Ha. Ha. Ha. Throughout the forty minutes that we sat there, I slowly turned into a zombie. Not everybody has the ability to live near fresh mountain air every day. Some girls (me) live in places like Indiana, where you basically don't go outdoors for five months out of the year. I'm not used to fresh, pure oxygen apparently. The oxygen was smelled like cinnamon, watermelon, and one other scent that I forget. We also got to breathe in essential oils, like peppermint and my fav- grapefruit vanilla (which they claimed was an aphrodisiac.)

By the time the girl got to me for my massage, I couldn't even lift my head off the counter. Yes, I had my head laying on the counter and yes, a small dribble of drool almost left my mouth. People walking by probably thought I had spent all night up in Vegas. My mom, stepfather, and aunt knew the truth....I just didn't get my seven hour beauty sleep the night before. I am so isn't even funny. At the end of the massages, the ladies put little pads on our backs that deliver electric impulses to your muscles to relax them. We had remote controls to control how powerful the impulses were on our backs. Little did we know, that if you go above a Level 2, it feels like needles being stabbed into your back. Thanks, Oxygen Bar Lady for telling us after the fact that the higher levels are supposed to feel like acupuncture.

The worst part of this whole story (yes worse than laying my head on the counter and nearly drooling) was that I almost couldn't get up off the stool when it was over. I got really dizzy. I had to hobble behind everyone to exit the Venetian. Have you ever been on the people movers/escalators at the VEnetian? They go uphill, then they switch and go downhill. I was teetering back and forth at a dangerous speed and for the first time ever I thought I would pass out. I have to include stories like this on my blog so you know how truly lame and weird I am in real life.

So of course, I should never have called my relatives "fogeys." Because at this point, they were all making fun of me, saying things like, "Lindsay can't handle her oxygen." Seriously, look at that awful picture of me sitting in between my aunt and mom. I look like I am knocking on death's door. That was before I couldn't peel my head off the counter of the Oxygen Bar.

This post is proof that this girl needs some fresh air!!! When fresh air about knocks you out, you KNOW you have problems! In case you are wondering (which you totally probably are not), I totally plan on hitting up an Oxygen Bar the next time I see one. I would love to see what it feels like when I am actually well rested beforehand.

Go out and get some fresh air today, people!


Polyvorina said...

LOL! Love this post! There are a couple of oxygen bars in my city but I've yet to try them. Your experience makes me want to try, but scares the crap out of me at the same time. ;) I'm up in Canada so I feel you on not leaving the house for a couple months out of the year - don't know how I'll handle so much fresh air either! ;) Thanks for the idea!