Saturday, April 7, 2012

Nothing says Happy Easter like unfriending your mom on Facebook

I am so tired of not posting on this blog! I have plenty of stories to tell, but a little thing has been distracting me called "Pinterest."

Today though, I have been reflecting on a little something that happened yesterday. I UNFRIENDED MY MOM ON FACEBOOK. Yep, I did. Who does that? This girl. She so had it coming too.

I called her to tell her how much I loved every single Easter basket she ever made in her whole life. I was bursting with love and excitement to call and tell her this. However, she answered the phone like what I imagine a sloth would sound like. She said that she was down. I asked her why. She wouldn't say. I pressed her further until she spilled the beans because we all know that mothers really do want to spill the beans but like to draw it out for dramatic effect.

She said that she was sad because she put all her Easter decorations away *Easter DIVA alert* You may be wondering why that is a big deal.....well, my mom decorates for the holidays like she is decorating for the window at Macy' New York City.....during the Thanksgiving Parade. I told her not to be silly because Easter isn't over. She said that she had to because she had no one there to enjoy it. I am pretty sure that her husband enjoys these decorations, but I guess she means her kids and grandkids.

THEN she dropped a bomb that led to the whole fight. First I must back up a little. I have to report this with 100% accuracy for those family members that hear her side of the story. While talking to her a few days ago, she mentioned that she was thinking about not coming for Christmas Day, but instead coming right after and staying until New Years, rather than coming before Christmas and leaving on Dec. 26th, like she has been. When she said this, I literally said nothing. I didn't agree or disagree. I just didn't say a word. If I would have been mad by this idea, I would have flown off the handle immediately because "that's what I do, yo." Instead, I just didn't say much so I could think it all through.

Back to the BOMB dropping from last night. After her sad lament over Easter decorations, she said (this is a direct quote), "By the way, I don't think I will come for Christmas at all."

Ummmmmm.......WHAT?!? You don't want to know what I said in response to that. I quickly hung up on her so we could proceed to mad text each other until I told her I wasn't speaking to her.

Then last night I was feeling all ballsy and unfriended her on Facebook. That'll show her.

I went to bed and woke up. Then realized, "Crap. I just unfriended my mother on Facebook." So I sheepishly sent her a friend request. She didn't even know that I had unfriended her, so the whole ballsy moment was just an epic fail all around.

Long story short: Don't unfriend your mother on Facebook because it will lead to being made fun of by your family, especially your pesky brothers.

She sent me a text and told me that she would be "taking me down" on Tuesday when she is in town to visit this week. I told her that the only take down would be ME taking HER down.

This is how we talk when we make up....threaten to beat each other up. When it comes to beating threats, the whole fight is over. She is now trying to claim that I never let her get out her whole plan last night before I flipped out. Claim. Sorry but there was a difference between the plan she told me about a few days ago and her statement on the phone that she wasn't coming at all.

But nice attempt at a save, Mother.

If we weren't such identical spaz butts about everything, these types of things would never happen.

Can you tell how scary I am? If you cross me, I will unfriend you on Facebook. Ooooohhhhh, not that. BE afraid, BE very afraid. I will take you all down.


Mom said...

Oh yes a take down is in order, I actually died laughing when I saw your friend request!!! Boy, that really taught me a lesson! NOT! LOL